Brink of Death
by Fanny chan
Summary: Tomoyo has been driven to the very edge she can take. Keeping up a façade is simply too tiring and she wants to end all pains and sufferings… now...! There'll be a little ExT... R&R too! Please don't flame.


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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, CLAMP does.  
  
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Tomoyo: It's so emotional… and romantic

Chbi Fanny: As if!

Fanny chan:*sighs* =^_^=Anyway, read this fic and remember to review! =^_^=

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Summary of this story: Tomoyo has been driven to the very edge she can take. Keeping up a façade is simply too tiring and she wants to end all pains and sufferings… now…

  
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Brink of Death  
By Fanny chan

A young woman, a teenager, stared at the flat surface of the mirror. Arrays of emotions danced on her reflection, all which was supposed to be kept under a façade.

A mirror never hides anything from the beholder. All emotions, be it good ones or bad, danced on the smooth, shiny surface. In other words, a mirror never lies. 

She had woken up early from yet another nightmare. She seems to be having a lot of those lately, each about a different person.

The night before, she had the most frightening nightmare of her mother bring hit by a speeding car.

Last night, she had a dream of herself. She dreamt that she was overlooking the city , staring down at the colourful lights coming from there. The beautiful, bright lights and the sparkling raindrops coming from the sky… and all of a sudden, the nightmare ended, leaving her in heart-stopping suspense.

She was paranoid. She knew that. But what can you expect from a person who is on the verge of insanity? She was driven to the very corner and is now hanging by a mere thread. The slightest anguish could send her to her _doom_.

Tomoyo had never known a teenager's life could be so tough. She was only 18 yet nightmares of her mother leaving her, of Sakura leaving her haunted her, never giving her a moment of peace.

The one she had last night however, had been the most intriguing on she ever had… no, there was another equally interesting.

She had once dreamt about Eriol Hiragizawa, a classmate of hers. And the time she dreamt of him was mysteriously the only one that was not concerning death. In fact, she dreamt that they were in love!

She knew that that is the most absurb thing she has ever thought of. Yet she could not help it. She had a crush on Eriol ever since she first laid eyes of him.

And she thinks that this affection is the only thing, the only aspect that is holding her back from insanity.

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Tomoyo's POV

Let's go back to square one. Why am I going mad in the first place? Can you imagine me spending nearly half of my life smiling despite the torment occuring in my mind? I wished I was younger, I wished I was ten again. Life was so carefree then.

Now, studying has become a major part of me. However, I'm failing terribly in my social life despite my good grades.

All my closest friends have a boyfriend, including Naoko. I seem to be the only one in class who still has not found a partner.

I'm beautiful. I know that. Most of the boys in my class had asked me out on dates millions, even trillions of times and believe me, I have given them all a try. Yet none of them worked out.

I sighed, glancing at my watch. The dreaded moment was here. It is time to head to school…

"Ohayo!" Sakura greeted. I stared at her and noticed she was more cheerful than usual.

I saw from the corner of my eye, Syaoran smiling at her. Something was up. I know it. I can sense it. They were behaving unusually intimate.

"Ohayo!" A deep voice beside me greeted. I knew who it was without looking. Eriol…

"Ohayo," I replied, looking up at him. That had been a mistake. The moment I glance at his azure pupils, I felt naked. I felt exposed completely. He had seen through my mask, the pain I was going through… Everything. I hate that feeling. I really abhor it.

Immediately, I tore my gaze away and at that precise moment, the lecturer strolled in. Thank the heavens!

***

After class that day, Sakura clutched my arm in a painful death grip and pulled me aside, beaming brightly all this while.

"Tomoyo, I have great news for you." I looked at her innocently while inside, I knew what to expect. The thin line was disintegrating, trying hard not break.

"Syaoran asked me to move to Hong Kong…" She paused dramatically. "… And I agreed!" I acted surprise then displayed happiness, hugged her before waving goodbye while she rushed back to Syaoran.

The moment she was out of sight, I sat on a bench, eyes glazed.

I felt warm arms embracing me. I knew who it was without looking. Eriol…

I have no idea how I knew it was him… I just knew.

"I know you're hiding something from me. Please tell me Tomoyo. I want to help you. I really want to."

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End of Tomoyo's POV

Tomoyo stared at him blankly. "You want to help me? What a joke!" She chuckled maniacally. "I like you, perhaps even love you Eriol! Do _YOU_ think you can help? _Do you_?"

Eriol stood speechless, for the first time ever in his life, he was rendered speechless. It was a while before he spoke.

"I'm… flattered Tomoyo… however I'm afraid… afraid… I don't know… I really don't know…" Eriol reached out an arm towards Tomoyo but she flinched away while staring at him, glaring…

The temperature lowered, the atmosphere turned eerie as the sky was overcast with dark black clouds.

"SNAP!" One could literally hear the sound of the thin fragile piece disintergrating, shattering into a million tiny pieces, each piece sharper than the other and every single one of these pieces pierced her heart, tore into her very soul, her very sanity.

Tomoyo jumped up and dashed into a hotel, pushing past tourists in her way. She was heading straight for a stairway.

Swinging open the door, she climbed up the stairs at an amazing rate, Eriol hot on her heels.

Soon their footsteps slowly faded, as the swinging door creaked, the only sound in the passageway was the rhythmic swishing of the swinging door, slowly moving to and fro, to and fro…

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The helplessly deranged young female hastened her footsteps, causing Eriol to lag behind.

As they neared the top, Eriol finally realized what her aim was, her purpose for coming up here. She was trying to jump, about to commit suicide. Stretching his arm, he tried to have a firm hold on her billowing skirt but as he was about to have a secure grip, Tomoyo merely scooted away, eyes carrying a crazed look of freedom.

Eriol stared at her and for the very first time in his life, he felt afraid, very afraid that he would be too late to stop Tomoyo. He was so so terrified as Tomoyo exited through the final obstacle obscuring her final goal, the exit door…

He pushed open the door and found the darked-haired girl sitting on the ledge of the building, feet dangling over the edge.

"Tomoyo. I beg of you. Please don't end your life like this. It's useless!"

He stumbled back as emotionless eyes glared back at him. "Don't tell me what's useless and what's not if you don't understand the full meaning yourself!" Tomoyo spat angrily. "Who do you think I am? A helpless little girl who has to obey everyone? To be at everyone's beck and call? If that's what you think, you're dead wrong Eriol Hiragizawa. Dead wrong."

She turned back. "The city is exceptionally beautiful tonight. Look at the bright stars, dazzling in the night's sky, brightening the darkness. Too bad it can't help me." She chuckled and shook her head, rousing the nervous crowd which had gathered below her.

Suddenly, tiny droplets of water stared falling from the sky, causing everyone to rush into the hotel for shelter. 

She gazed dreamingly at the clouded sky, allowing the cool water to cool her face. "Heaven is crying for me as well…" she whispered before turning towards Eriol.

"I had a dream last night. I had dreamt this. Beautiful city lights shining up at me. Smiling at me, welcoming me in its warm embrace. The cooling raindrops splattering on my face, hugging me, separating me for this cruel fate I have, dividing me from this wicked world. Oh how tempted I am to succumb to this pleasure but what stopped me in the first place?"

Her cold amethyst darkened and glared straight into him, soggy bangs covering one eye, rendering him vulnerable. Eriol shivered. No one had enticed this feeling out of him before. No one.

"It was you. It was the slight hope that you may like me to which held me together, keeping me rational. But no, you just had to shatter that last bit of invisible thread. You had to finish me off. You knew how I felt this morning when you looked at me yet you denied what you saw! Tell me, had you thought of lending me a helping hand?" She tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"I guess you did. Too bad you just made matters from bad to worse!" She laughed, throwing her head backwards, her purple wet hair clinging to her pale face.

She sighed dramatically as the wailing of sirens could be heard in the far distance. "I look forward to my demise. After this horrible experience, I hope to start a life anew. After my death that is."

Eriol stared at her before smiling. Tomoyo looked surprise. "Why do you grin?"

Eriol sat down and gazed at Tomoyo.

"Love and life… such complicated situations yet both are merely made up of four letters. Death is much ubderstandable despite it being made up of one letter more. Now I do I realize why people prefered death to love or life. Death is simpler to achieve while keeping a love, getting a life…" He chuckled softly to Tomoyo's amusement.

Tomoyo clapped admiringly, beaming softly. "Well said. Since you have understood that, you should know why I'd like to take my last breath today."

Eriol's lips curved into a frown once more and shook his head. "No. That I don't know. That I really don't understand."

Tomoyo looked at him and for that moment, amethyst met sapphire as they stared at each other.

"Why do you care so much?" Tomoyo muttered, out of the blue, eyes downcast.

"It is not a matter of why. I just care for you because I like you," Eriol replied with no hesitation, his soaked midnight hair framing his face adorably.

Tomoyo smiled. "That's good. Then, I may die in peace. Remember this however. Death ends a life, not a relationship."

Eriol knew what she meant. "That's fine with me. I love you nonetheless. Remember that on your way up."

At that time, they heard heavy footsteps thumping up the stairs. The police are coming yet wet droplets kept on falling, heaven continued crying.

"Come here Eriol! Quick! I've something to tell you."

Eriol went close and she whispered softly. "Hug me."

Eriol did as he was told and embraced her tightly.

She looked up and gave him a peck of the lips.

"I love you too."

After this, things happened so quickly that one had less than a second to register.

Tomoyo slipped out of Eriol's arms and plummeted into the eerie darkness, no light guiding her down. The hotel was experiencing a power shortage from the storm.

The police burst in at that moment only to feel sympathy to the young man curled up beside the ledge, arms hugging his shaking figure.

The raindrops continued its wet descend, trickling on Eriol's head, sliding down silky blue hair before falling to the ground with a soft 'plop', blending his salty tears with the cold rain.

And lying in a pool of dark rich blood, with raindrops splashing little puddles beside her, was a limp young woman, her dark purple hair drenched with blood flowed out from under her, giving her an unearthly aura. Her amethyst gems were shut, never to be opened ever again.

Yet, on her serene face was a gentle smile, evidence that she had died blissfully.

From the roof, muted mummering could faintly be heard from the azure-eyed boy.

"Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come."

And as soon as he spoke, the rain cleared and the sun shone through the dark clouds, highlighting an angelic amethyst-eyed figure floating ever so slightly over the lovely corpse of herself.

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I wanted to make ExT 'happily ever after' fic at first, but decided against it. To my opinion, this is a better ending =^_^= Please review okay? =^_^=

~26th June 2002~


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